Hey everyone,
In 1992 The Queen described her year as a ‘Annus Horribilis’ which is very old speak for having an horrible anus. I reckon 2019 was my horrible anus. Not because I’ve had an awful year but because one bad arse stopped me from running Valencia Marathon. It’s a tenuous link, as the anus and the arse are of course slightly different but it’s close enough to drag you in to reading the rest of this post.
Talking about arses – let’s talk about me! Facebook and Insta have been choc-full of lovely people talking about what 2019 had in store for them. I am gonna join the trend and write about my year and tie it all in with some Posi Cozzy vibes as we all look forward to ripping it up in 2020. I’ll keep it brief and I will keep it real. Like you, I am fed up of all the fake shit we see on the internet. It’s far more fun to overshare and make y’all feel uncomfortable!
THE UPS!
OH! I forgot to say, this blog isn’t gonna be just about running. It’s gonna be about some general shit as well as running. Mainly running though, coz running is the best.
1) This year I met Rowena. She is the loudest, most enthusiastic, most annoying, most hyperactive, most emotional, most self-aware, prettiest and best person I have ever met. If you think I am loud, wait until you meet Row. I met her at Hogmoor parkrun and we bonded over both running London Marathon. Next time you meet her, please don’t call her ‘Jhon Cosgrove’s girlfriend’ – please call her Rowena. She’s been bloody great all year and she’s also an awesome runner – she just doesn’t know it yet!
2) London Marathon. Ran 2:58:19. It was the best day of my life. I loved the training, I loved the build up, I loved being mothered by my lovely friend Nazia. I loved every single second of the race. I loved sitting on the grass after unable to control how happy I felt. I loved drinking countless pints when I got back to Petersfield. Did you get the fact that I loved it? Best fucking day – sub fucking 3!!
3) Veganuary Bike Ride around India! This was a bloody winner as well. Signed up on a whim and spent 5 days riding around Rajasthan in the Indian sun with loads of vegans. I will never forget learning to ride with no hands on the bars. Prob not a big deal for most people BUT I was so uncoordinated as a kid, that I couldn’t even take one hand off. I built up my confidence in India and got up to 6 and a half mins with no hands. It was also a very good fitness base for running London and we raised lots of money for Veganuary. I am very proud to be a vegan and everyone should give Veganuary a go… message me if I can help. More bike rides in 2020 please! Check out the video below.
4) Ran 2039 miles and rode 634 miles. That’s my biggest ever running mileage and considering I spent nearly 2 months injured I am happy with that. Never done any bike riding until the end of last year, so can’t really complain at that. Quite like bikes BUT I really need to learn to change a flat tyre because I can’t go far on my own. Laughing emoji. I am 38. Crying emoji.
Follow me on Strava for proof!
5) I went back to college! And this time instead of smoking skunk bongs in a Peugeot 205, I’ve actually sat down and learnt some stuff about myself and some other stuff too. Really enjoying my counselling course and looking forward to learning lots more in 2020! Who knew I was passive aggressive? Really? I mean don’t worry about it, I knew it anyway, don’t worry about it – I’ll sort myself out, no fucking problem (was being passive aggressive).
6) Hoka One One let me join their Racer Prog! Sadly I haven’t done much racing this year BUT I now have enough shoes to run in until my legs fall off. And I am gonna race hard next year!
7) I’ve been lucky to spend lots of time with lots of friends and family. I’ve made new friends as well. Mainly runners. Did you know I run? I really appreciate friends and family now. I know this seems like it’s an easy thing to do but I feel I’ve worked harder on having actual relationships with people rather than fake on-the-surface bullshit. I hope you think so, too.
8) For some reason, I got a couple of awards for running the Broc Mara last Boxing Day! I hated it at first but on reflection, I feel much more comfortable about it and I am looking forward to doing more charitable stuff in 2020!
THE DOWNS
YOU STILL HERE? Great – we’re getting there. Promise.
1) Injury. No one likes getting injured. I am much better at dealing with it now BUT getting injured two weeks out from Valencia was a bugger. I’ve dealt with it now. I wasn’t enjoying running then anyway, I am enjoying it now and that is all that matters!
What I learnt from this: everyone gets injured, it’s how you deal with it and come back from it that matters. Don’t overtrain you dickhead!
2) Stupid fucking appendix. My friend at a party the other night mentioned that I’d made a big deal out of this. I agree. I did. It fucking hurt. I think it was more the shock from running 13 miles one day to being in excruciating agony the next. It made me feel like I was weak, didn’t like that. Fucked my head, too. Not to mention the running!
What I learnt from this: Don’t ever run 2 and half weeks after a major op. It will feel fucking awful.
3) Mental health. It’s a fucker init? The constant ups and downs on a daily basis can be overwhelming. I feel really good right now and in a very positive place. I don’t think I will be able to run well and train well unless my mental health is in sync with my physical health. I did go and see a counsellor though! I can’t wait to go again. It’s really fun learning more about yourself and why you think the way you do and how you can change how you think. You are not your thoughts! Thoughts are wankers. Next time you’re thinking negi vibes then please try and remember that.
What I learnt from this: I am still learning and will continue to do so!
4) Comparing myself to others. Fucking stupid. We all do it whether it’s in real life, on social media or looking on Strava. We see people who SEEM to be leading better lives… people who can run faster, people who are running 100 miles a week, people who just got a massive race PB. NONE OF THIS FUCKING MATTERS. They’ve got their own struggles, you are you. Do what you can. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. I let this get on top of me and control my thoughts. I won’t do this in 2020 coz I am me and I am fucking rad.
What I learnt from this: see above. Don’t compare yourself to anyone, you rule! The internet is just a highlights reel. Real life > reel life.
5) Losing the will to run! I am sure we’ve all been through this but it was a major issue for me during mara training. I overtrained, I didn’t get strong after my appendix op and my body / mind was weak for the rigours of mara training – therefore everything collapsed and I didn’t want to run.
What I learnt from this – all that matters is enjoying running and to do strength stuff as it’s very important.
6) Other people. I’ve let other people’s issues overwhelm me sometimes. Whether that’s family or social things. We all do this, it’s natural to want to help everyone and make everything perfect but it’s not going to happen. The world is fucked but all we can do is be there for people. Smiley emoji.
What I learnt from this: help but remember it’s OK to put myself first if it’s making me go mental!
GOOD NEWS! There were more ups than downs! And I am not gonna do any NY resolutions. I have running aims. I have some life aims. The main thing is to be well both physically and mentally and to enjoy my running and friends and fam. If I can get anywhere near that then I will be a happy scarecrow!
If you’re struggling with anything then please try something new in 2020! You might have a secret talent for something you haven’t discovered. I am obvs biased towards running but if you wanna try naked kite flying, you fucking go for it. I might join you. Sounds fun unless you get your willy caught on the string. If you don’t have a willy then you’re laughing.
Happy New Year and enjoy 2020! Sorry for the essay, I had a coffee just before and was off me chops on caffeine.
Posi Cozzy x
PS: Here’s my fave albums of 2019 and here’s a Spotify playlist I made for you to listen to.
- Pup – Morbid Stuff
- Masked Intruder – III
- The Skints – Swimming Lessons
- The Wildhearts – Renaissance Men
- Lizzo – Cuz I Love You
- Nervus – Tough Crowd
- Mungo’s Hi Fi – More Fyah
- Dinosaur Pile Up – Celebrity Mansions
- Gang Starr – One Of The Best Yet
- Bracket – Too Old To Die Young